Tuesday, October 12, 2010

A learning process

I did not respect my body today.

Am I disappointed? Yes. Will it affect me negatively going forward? No.

I did not respect my body today by putting food in it that wasn't needed to fuel my body. No, I ate food that tasted good but that my body doesn't need. It doesn't deserve to be treated like this anymore. I deserve to be healthy. I deserve to fuel my body with nutritous, whole foods. I deserve to have a fit body. My deserves to be worked out in order to keep it in working shape. I ended up skipping my workout so I could watch the Biggest Loser. Afterwards I did realize that this might have been a good decision as my knees are bother me a bit, so the day of rest might not have been awful.

This morning I ate breakfast on my way to my MOPS meeting. I brought fresh fruit since it was my tables turn to bring food. I figured if I ate breakfast I would be less tempted to eat all the other goodies there. While at the store I found these little yummy two bite caramel toffee scones. Mmmm. I should have left them there! I ended up eating a huge plateful of food anyway. And then when the container of scones was almost completely full I had to bring it home with me. I am pretty sure I ate 3/4 of that container. Maybe a little less, but not by much. I also ate a huge salad at my mom's house. I also ate dinner because I knew skipping a meal is just as disrespectful to my body as cramming it full of crap.

I refuse to say today was failure. Why? Because with every mistake made, knowledge is gained. I am learning what it is to respect my body. I am working on chaging my thinking about what I "deserve". I deserve health. This is a hard way to think when you are taught to think that sweets and desserts are "treats" or rewards for when you are good. Why should I reward myself with something that will eventually harm me?? How did we all come to think that we deserve to treat ourselves like crap? I am tired of feeling sluggish and tired. I love the energy I feel after a great workout and eating well. So no, today was not a failure. It was a learning opportunity and I will continue on tomorrow as I usually would. I will have my reallly yummy nutritious breakfast and I will workout, and I will run. I will feel great! I will because that is what I deserve :)

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