Wednesday, November 10, 2010

You must give...

In order to receive. You would think that since I have heard that most of my life, I would already have learned it by now. In fact, I used to know it so well that all I ever did was give...which actually turned against me, but that's a whole other story!

Being a SAHM I don't get out much. When I worked I worked with friends. Up until last quarter I had classes that I went to, which kept me in touch with people. Now I have nothing. My close friends are gone because, well we just drifted apart. Our lives are so different. I have 3 kids now, and most of my "friends" have none. I don't have anyone to talk to. I started going to MOPS, but that is only twice a month, and it's just hard for me to feel like I am connecting with anyone. It's a blast while I am there, but in the meantime I sit alone.

Even in the blogging world, I feel a little alone. I love reading other people's blogs. I love reading about the successes, failures, motivations, and lack thereof. However, I hardly ever comment. I am always afraid I will say something wrong, come off as "stalkerish" or something weird like that. I will start to comment, but then decided what I have to say just isn't worth saying. Hmmm. And then I wonder why no one comments on mine...Maybe others have the same issue, maybe I am just not writing anything interesting, maybe I just shouldn't worry about it! I am writing this for me, so I can keep track and stay motivated. I want to be able to motivate others, but that takes an extra step, right? You have to give before you can receive. So here's my little bit of giving. I want to share a handful of my go-to blogs, the one's that really inspire me to keep going.

Skinnyemmie - this particular blog post is the reason why I am not wallowing in self pity today!

80 Sticks of Butter - she always motivates me to work a little harder, and she usually can make me laugh!

Green Lite Bites - my first go-to for new recipes to try. I have loved almost everything I have ever tried from here...and so have my family!

Stephanie - she has totally inspired me to continue going even with such a small child at home

Emily - her site will be moving soon, and I will continue to follow...her posts are so inspiring!

Kendra - oh my gosh this girl cracks me up! I look forward to her posts because they are definitely never dull!

That is just a few to get me started. I am going to try and link at least one other person to my blog and explain just how they inspired me that day. Since I do read blogs daily, it will be my way of paying it forward so others can be motivated as well! Thank you to all who continue to inspire me on my journey, even if I haven't told you yet! I will make it a point to comment on those blogs that keep me going so you know how much you are helping me and my journey.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Biggest Loser 10

I am having another off day today, and I know it's because I am still sick. Plus it's a MOPS Tuesday which means I am privy to way to much yummy food and not nearly strong enough to just walk away from it yet. I did not eat as much there as I usually do, but I did indulge. Then at lunch I was just wanting sugar. I had some. Then I remembered there was a hot pocket type thing in the freezer, so heated that up. I realized it was almost 600 calories. I still decided to eat it...until I took two or three bites of it. It was disgusting. I was only eating it because, well I don't even really know why. I was exhausted. So I threw it in the trash after having only eaten a few bites. I usually eat things out of obligation. I hate wasting food. But I knew I didn't need it. I knew it was gross, not only in taste, but for my body. So in the trash it went and I took a short nap instead of eating more crap.

Note: Spoiler Alert...if you haven't seen tonights episode and don't want to know how it ends, don't read on!

Now on to the Biggest Loser. I don't know how many people watch the show. I have been watching the show for the last 3 seasons and I have to say that normally I really enjoy it. This season is really making me mad. It has gone from last season all about helping each other lose weight (which is the point of the show, right?) to this season and it's all about the game play. I am having a difficult time enjoying the show this season. I find myself yelling at the people on tv! I get so frustrated. This show used to encourage me and motivate me. Now all it does is make me mad. Is anyone finding that true this season??? I think that they need to screen the contestants better next season. They need to have people on there that actually want the help to lose weight, not to play the game the way they have. Lisa doesn't even want to be there anymore, and yet she is still there because she's not a threat. And Elizabeth? All she does is depend on everyone else to keep her there. They should have gone home. Although I must say that Bob was totally right on when he said that Aaron and Jesse had totally won it because they got it. Jesse was awesome in saying it is not the finale he looks forward to, it's the day after when he eats a healthy breakfast and goes for a jog. I need to remember that even though I am not in a "contest" it's about the every day of "getting it". I want to be the one that gets it. I want to make it stick.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Feeling good

Funny how some days you just feel really good. About almost everything.

Although this is only partly true about today as I am currently beginning to feel crappy, but that is just the cold talking. Other than fighting off this silly sore throat and stuffy nose, I feel great today! It's absolutely amazing how our bodies are created to fuel it with healthy, nutritious food and it rewards you with feeling great and more energy.

Yesterday is just a bad memory. I did not let it affect my attitude today. Even when I saw another gain on the scale this morning. I could have not weighed myself, but I have learned in the past that weighing myself after a binge day and seeing a gain is actually good for me. It shows me that I really did nothing good for myself by gorging on sugar. I had a scrumptious breakfast to start my morning off and I have stayed on track all day long. I even got a 2 mile run in today. Each run is getting a little easier, a little faster, and a lot more enjoyable.

When I began running again after Sean was born, it was difficult. I still enjoyed the feeling afterwards, the endorphin rush of completing a great workout. However, I would be stiff and sore, it would be difficult to climb the stairs. Just after 2 miles, and that wasn't even running the whole time, not even half the time! Now I am running the majority of the 2 miles (I am working my way up to running the whole thing) and I am not sore after anymore. Instead I feel incredibly energized. Today I even wondered if I should have tried for 3 miles because 2 was almost too easy. Although if you had asked me while I was on the treadmill if I thought I could do it I would have laughed in your face and said Absolutely NOT!

I am feeling my body getting back to where it was last summer. Where it was fueled with good, real food and it was being worked out with strength training and running, training for a 5k and then a 10k. I knew I was still 30 or 40 pounds away from my goal weight back then, but I was learning how amazing my body was and learning to love my body as it was. Now I am 40 pounds heavier than last summer, and I am relearning this all over again. I really dislike what my body looks like, most of the time. But if I can get past what it looks like on the outside and focus on what it does for me every single day, despite what I have done to it, I am in awe. I need to remember this feeling. I need to remember that my body thanks me when I fuel it the right way. My body thanks me when I try to get it into better shape. Our bodies want to be healthy, they were created to be healthy. They were created to function properly. It is my responsibility to give it what it needs. It's the only body I will ever have, and I need to treat it better. I deserve to feel good. Even if I am not happy, yet, with the shape of my body, it is getting closer every day to it's ideal shape.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Emotional eating

Today was not a good day for me. Not only did I wake up with my daughter's cold, but everyone in our family is sick with the same cold. The girls have it the worst. Sean was up because of it last night. And I was quite miserable due to it most of the day. Add to that the stress of dealing with a hubby that would rather watch football than help with a sick 2 year old, and I was pretty stressed today. It's just so easy to lose your temper when you don't feel well, especially when the child is extremely fussy because they don't feel well. Ugh! Just a crappy day...and my eating showed this. I wanted comfort food this morning, so I started my day with cereal instead of oatmeal. Not that bad, right? Wrong...cereal is a trigger food for me. I had two rather full bowls of frosted flakes which led to cookies, which led to candy, and so on. The only good part of my day was dinner. I ate a great dinner. I made Simple Tuna Burgers and they turned out really yummy. I added cayenne pepper to it because I looove spicy food. They are definitely something I will be making again.

I did not get a run in today because of not feeling well. I am hoping that tomorrow will be better, and not worse! I am keeping my fingers crossed that I don't end up really sick tomorrow...that would really bite! So I am heading to bed extra early tonight! Well, Sean is calling for me...apparently he wasn't quite finished nursing when I put him to bed :)

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Down another pound

Today has been a good day all around...I got to take a nice 2 hour nap this morning, worked out for 30 minutes, then ran almost a whole mile! It was my best run yet! I ran all but .1 of it. And that was right after working my legs out. On top of all of this, the hubby declared today that he NEEDS to lose weight. He also worked out, including raking the leaves in the backyard, and he made dinner. He is suddenly interested in healthier foods...not as much as I am, but it's a start! That made my whole day. He is about 285 pounds. Now he's not a small guy, fairly tall at 6'3", but he is definitely in need of dropping at least 50 pounds. He doesn't think he will ever get under 200, which is fine, as long as he is healthy!

Yesterday I decided that I need to do something with the sweet potatoes before they rotted on my counter. So I chopped them up with some carrots, peppers, and zucchini drizzled it with olive oil and added oregano and course sea salt. Threw it all in the oven and roasted them. They turned out AMAZING! I am not usually one for a plate full of veggies, but you best believe that dinner last night as well as lunch and dinner today included half of my plate full of those veggies! The best part is they are so filling! I don't feel like I need to eat my weight in meat to keep myself satisfied. I am not a fan of white potatoes, but they were on sale so we have a bag of them. So the hubby found a recipe for onion, apple, potato hash. I had a small helping of that with dinner tonight. The apples made it seem like I was eating sweet potatoes! Oh, and I decided that since I was going to have to use up the rest of that chocolate chip cookie dough, I needed to make cookies that I won't feel guilty about eating. So I tried Roni's Molasses Cookies and they are sooo incredibly good! I was nervous that I wouldn't like them because they wouldn't be sweet. They are the perfect amount of sweetness. Even the hubby like them, although he commented that they definitely weren't sweet. I thought they were perfect! I will definitely be making those again! Elise had a blast "helping" make the cookies.

So I am completely satisfied with my day today, even though I didn't lose the 2 pounds I had hoped for. One pound is still awesome since I am now 1 pound closer to my goal. I know that I had a few rough days this past week with the candy, so I know that this coming week will be better. The hubby and I will be working out a menu tomorrow, I will get the necessary groceries on Monday. I am currently trying to use up the tons of food we have in our pantry, so I am trying to create our menu around that. So far it has worked out really well for us. I know that Shannon actually blogged about that either yesterday or today. It can be tough to eat healthy on such a tight budget, but we are managing! Tomorrow I am also planning on at least a 2 mile run, hopefully outside! We'll see how that goes....

Friday, November 5, 2010

A 5k for Thanksgiving?

I have been in search of a Turkey Trot to do this year. It would be a first for me. Of course I cannot find one that is close. There are some in the cities, but I really don't like the cities. I am a small town girl. Or at least smallish towns. It's at least a 40 minute drive to the cities, and then there's the traffic. Eww. I hate traffic. I also don't really like large crowds. I know that races are usually large amounts of people, but the cities have HUGE crowds. There is one more local, but it's not ON Thanksgiving. It's on the 13th. Or the 18th. I found both dates for the same place.

So here's my idea. And it might be more than I can handle, but here it is anyway. I want to start my own. Does that sound crazy? Because it does to me! Obviously I won't be able to do it this year, although I still will do something this year. The hubby even agreed to do it with me! I would love to plan and organize a Turkey Trot race in my area for next year. I would love to have the proceeds of said race go to families that cannot afford a meal for Thanksgiving...or something along those lines. I would want the proceeds to go a worthy charity. I am not sure how to go about said project. Do I need to contact the city in order to get a spot to hold the race? Does anyone have any experience doing such things? I welcome any and all advice regarding starting a race! I think that there is not enough emphasis on a healthy lifestyle these days, especially during the holidays. I am excited to reach out to others and get them excited about running. Or even just walking! Am I crazy here? Or is this something that is totally doable???

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Sugar is not my friend

I know this. And by know, I mean I KNOW this!

I have studied nutrition now for 3 years. Of course I do not know everything. I am constantly learning more. I love to learn! I love that I can continually better myself. Knowledge is an amazing thing! However, sometimes there is a disconnect between head knowledge and applying it to every day life. I know how to eat healthy and live healthy. Sometimes it's just harder than others!

I missed my blog post yesterday because our internet/cable was out. It was down everywhere around here. So it seems a little unfair that I will miss my goal due to unavoidable things, but that's life. Life is not fair of course. It is what it is and I will move on! Yesterday was a great day for me. I did a 20 minute weight circuit and I ran a mile. Well, I ran most of the mile :) My eating was much better yesterday, until right around dinner time. I think that I just need to eat more after I work out because by the time I was cooking dinner I was starving. Again. I hate that feeling! Because then I have an uncontrollable urge to eat. I say urge and not need because I could have stopped at the 4 baby carrots, or the two cookies, but no, I had to eat 6 cookies plus the carrots. Then I ate dinner on top of it! It's definitely not me eating out of boredom, but I tend to OVEReat when it gets like this. So I need to make sure I do not let it get that bad. I need to have healthier snacks on hand. And I need to get rid of the sugar in the house! The cookies are gone now...sort of. We have all the cookie dough still. So I think that it will be safe to make them after awhile. I need to "detox" my body. I need to get the sugar out! Once it is out, it is MUCH easier for me to avoid. The candy must go as well. I can stay away from the kids' buckets because I would feel much too guilty, but the big bowl of leftover candy from Halloween? Yeah, it's gotta go. It taunts me from it's place above the cupboards. I can see it all day long from where I sit to feed Sean, where I sit with my laptop. It's high enough up that I need a chair to reach it. I only gave in once (on Monday). Honestly it's easier to avoid because I know all the good stuff in there is gone. All that's left is stuff I don't necessarily crave. Ever. The inlaws house is another story. They have all the chocolatey good stuff. We were there today because they are leaving tomorrow. So that temptation will be gone. But not after I had my fill of Snickers, Kit Kats, and Dove dark chocolates. Ahhh well.

One of the things I have been "struggling" with lately is the quality of food versus the quantity of calories. I do know that it is possible to eat whatever foods I want, as long as I am within a certain calorie limit, and I can lose weight. Problem with this scenario is typically eating those foods in such limited amounts may lead to a binge fest later on. When you are used to eating large portions of your favorites, sometimes it's just too hard to simply scale it back. Anyway, I digress. The way I know is best is to eat healthier foods. Eating fresh fruits, veggies, whole grains, lean meats...these are the foods I need to be consuming. And I mostly do. I typically eat a fairly well rounded, balanced diet. Right now, however, I seem to be justifying this sugar kick with, I know I need the calories because I am still nursing AND I am working out. Hmmm. This doesn't really seem smart. I know that Sean will still be getting the calories he needs. But I am supplying the best milk I can by eating things that are not as nutritious? I am not sure how it all works, but I assume that the food I eat must affect the milk he gets. And just because something is low in calories doesn't make it good for you. So here I sit, desiring to eat healthier and really struggling with all the temptation in the house at the moment. I just don't know what to do! My mom tells me to throw it all away. I might have to do that. I also don't want to take the candy away from the kids, but I don't really want them eating it all either! At this point, they are allowed one piece a day, which doesn't ruin them and doesn't deprive them either. That's a whole other blog post! I would rather give the big bowl of candy away so the hubby doesn't eat it all either (he also doesn't need it!).

What do you do with the Halloween candy that just sits in your house??? Throw it, keep it, give it away?

Oh, and my challenge stats as of yesterday (Day 12):

CE 17/55
RT 3/15
CT 6/20
PG1 11/33
PG2 7/22
PG3 11/33
WL 2.4/8