My desire to be thinner started when I was in high school. I was never large. In fact, looking back, I was at a healthy weight the whole time. The problem was that I have wide hips. So while most of my friends fit into a size 0 or 2, I was wearing 7 or 9 in order to compensate for wide hips and larger thighs. I remember one time going shopping with said friends and they actually told me I didn't need to wear 7's and they pulled out a size 1 and told me to try them on. I knew they would never fit. I argued but they insisted that I should be able to wear them. I left feeling very fat in comparison to my friends. That feeling has stuck with me. I always seem to compare myself to everyone else. I never really lost or gained weight during that period. It wasn't until I turned 20 that I started to put on weight.
I gained about 15 pounds the winter I was 20 (it was also when I started college!). I found out in February that I was pregnant. I started that pregnancy at 140 pounds, which was heavy for me at 5'2". I gained 40 lbs with the pregnancy. Afterwards, I was never able to get below 150. 2 1/2 years later I had another child. I never got below 160. 2 1/2 years later came another little bundle of joy. After her I was in the 180s for the longest time. I started WW and blogging. I quit WW and started just eating healthier. I lost 30 pounds! I got down in the 150s and was very excited. Then I found out we were pregnant again. I gained 15 pounds back prior to getting pregnant. Then I gained 52 pounds during the pregnancy. I felt horrible. My top weight the day I gave birth was 224. As of today I am 198. I have begun to eat healthy again, and now that I have the clearance to workout, I will begin my running again. I want to be able to run a marathon next year. There is a marathon that happens in Minneapolis...it was just last weekend. I think I take the year and prepare for that! Every day is a constant struggle as I look at myself and am disgusted that I do not take care of myself. With the kids at home, it's hard to focus on anything but them.
Hopefully this blog will help me to get to my goal of 125 pounds and that marathon next year. Comments are always welcome, the more support the better! I love following other bloggers in the same situation as I find it very motivational for myself!
